Let the day of your birth be darkness

Sorry I haven't been posting for the past few days. I've been trying and failing to combat a completely crippling virus attack which tied my computer into knots and ran loops around it. At the end, the system was so overloaded with unnecessary processes, that the final virus scan which identified the last files to kill off took 74 hours. I found not one, not two, but three different viruses. Little fuckers. Your ass is MINE, now, biatches.

There was probably an easier way to do that, but I couldn't figure it out.

Nonetheless, please allow me at this point to interrupt regular programming to curse the name of the people who wrote the virii until the end of their miserable lives:

You. You worthless pieces of shit. I know you think you're hot stuff, but I consider the day you were born a defect in the space-time continuum. Nonetheless, it having happened, we must all try to cope with the cataclysmic existential crisis brought on by the very fact that we can deduce you to exist by signs you leave in the world, in much the same way that one can smell rotting flesh when hyenas are nearby, or the way one can assume the existence of a dog when one steps in dogshit. But now that you are in the world and we have to make do with what we can. I for one, choose to cope, by cursing your name and getting all warm and fuzzy inside at the very thought that there is a statistical possibility that tomorrow, you may contract a horrible skin disease, which will make you itch like a thousand fleas never could for the rest of your miserable life. You are the scum of the earth. You will never be anything but scum, and I hope the realisation of that will finally drive you under.

Okay. Thank you for your patience. Normal service resumes tomorrow.


Blogger Unknown said...

Those wankers. Glad to hear you got out of it.

Can I assume from your browser share statistics that you're not using Firefox? (Firefox has 11%, would think it had tended to be higher if you where using it yourself, though I could be wrong.) It doesn't make you safe from viruses but a lot more secure when it comes to malware, malicuos scripts and general self-executing garbage from the web. I use it when I have to use windows, and it's pretty quick, pleasant and a lot more care-free.

December 14, 2004 2:41 pm  
Blogger mrtn said...

Thanks! I'll look into it. I'm currently using Internet Explorer, despite the fact that I think Microsoft is the beast in the Revelation. I've always liked the interface better than the alternatives, but I haven't tried Firefox. I'm downloading it now. And then, I will finally throw Kazaa, Perfectnav, GAIN and Casino on-line out the window and be spyware- and virus-free. My computer will be an impenetrable citadel of security and strength. A tower of fastness in the wilderness of the net. But now I will go and install Firefox.

December 14, 2004 6:34 pm  
Blogger Unknown said...

The Firefox interface is somewhat dull. But at least it's simple, unlike Opera. And you can always install a theme.

"My computer will be an impenetrable citadel of security and strength."

That, my friend, won't happen until you install Linux or FreeBSD.

December 14, 2004 7:10 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Opera might seem a bit bloated, but everything it has is pretty nifty in my opinion. And it's the fastest browser yet. As an extra pluss it is just as secure as firefox or perhaps more so. I think everything malicious on the internet has homed in on me though... I'm getting new viruses every day now.. Not using a firewall cause of Sharing, that's part of it. Poker rules though, Martin, I'll never give it up! NEVER!!! aAArgh....!
Texas NoLimit HoldEm:)

December 14, 2004 11:23 pm  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ooops.. forgot to sign..


December 14, 2004 11:24 pm  
Blogger Gaute said...

...Or, if you've become too accustomed to the Internet Explorer interface to let go, check out Maxthon/MYIE2. It has pretty much the same look and feel, but adds tons of extra features. And it's Chinese!

"I like Chinese.
I like Chinese.
They only come up to your knees,
Yet they're always friendly, and they're ready to please."

Oh, and you should consider getting Ad-Aware if you're concerned about spyware.

December 15, 2004 12:52 am  
Blogger mrtn said...

Thank you for your help, oh computer-wise friends. Thank you, in particular, for giving me three different systems to confuse me with. Øystein got here first, so tomorrow, I am going to try his suggestion by installing the firefox installer I just downloaded a few hours ago. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll go play online poker or something.

Oh, rtm: if you didn't get the comment from the post I deleted, I was very sorry to hear about you and K. I hope you're feeling better.

December 15, 2004 12:56 am  
Blogger Unknown said...

Many choices are a good thing, Martin. It means that the bastards won't know who or what to run after. It's much harder to write malicious code for different browsers. I use 4-5 different browsers on a daily basis, but that's mostly because I like variation. Opera is very good, it's just that I've got a small screen and don't want an extra ad to clutter it. The full screen mode is actually very nice but I can't use that all the time. One I don't use is Maxthon. Although it's got nice features and a functional interface, it's mostly just as insecure as Explorer. Ad-Aware is definately a good thing, though, and it's free.

December 15, 2004 9:42 am  

Post a Comment

<< Home