How's this for a reductionist reading?

The Citizens for Literary Standards in Schools are taking the battle against bad litterature seriously. It's not about book banning, mind. It's all about choosing quality litterature, which doesn't have any gratuituous sex, violence or the "f-word." These patrons of the functional plot just want to make sure your children's minds are shiny, smelling of detergent and freshly scrubbed to a red glow. It's not as though they want to burn books.

See how they tackle the so-called "masterpieces" of English literature and show you what they're really all about:

Salinger: Catcher in the Rye.

hell 249 times, goddam 186, damn 113, faggy 1, ass 26, butt 2, bull 6, bitch 2, bastard 60, Chrissake 25, God (in vain) 32, Sonovabitch 15, Jesus Christ (in vain) 6, whore 5, fuck 6

Kesey: One flew Over the Cuckoos Nest.

- 12 uses of “fuck/fucking/motherfucker”, 9 of “shit/bullshit”, 12 of “bitch/son of a bitch”, 4 of “asshole/ass", 10 of “goddamn”, 10 of “bastard”, 6 of “ball-cutter”, 4 of "coon”, plus dago, tarbabies, black-ass, nigger and cocksucker


Slaughterhouse Five.

motherfucker, fucked, fucking, fuck, fucking, God-damned, Jesus, Jesus Christ, cocksucker, shit, piss, balls, pecker, whore, bastard, son of a bitch, hard-on, hell, damn

Chopin: The Awakening.

orgasm and suicide are two major topics

Various Artists: Bible.

Contains descriptions of rape, incest, war, genocide, violent death,
pagan sacrifice, etc.

(Ok, so the last one was mine.)


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